Why Weight?

The chief cupbearer, however, did not remember Joseph; he forgot him…when two full years had passed, Pharaoh had a dream… (Genesis 40:23; 41:1)

Nobody likes to wait. Waiting is that time of suspended anticipation. We’re stuck in a moment. Our life is on pause. We wait on God or, maybe, God waits on us. Whatever the reason, it’s a period of healing and hope, pain and promise, fear and faith. Every minute is pregnant with possibility. Will this be the day God finally shows up with the key?

Or not.

The reality of the moment drains even the most spirited optimist. The expectation that God will pull through, lift up, mow down or fill in the cracks is juxtaposed against a rising waterline that your last breath might be nearer than imagined or worse, closer than you feared. Life never becomes more real than when you see the end, especially if that finality is a lifetime of physical, emotional, mental or spiritual chains.

We don’t know how long Joseph was in prison before he interpreted the dreams of the baker and the cupbearer, but we do know how long he waited afterwards: “two full years.” Let me say it again. Two full years. 24 months. 730 days. 17,520 hours. 1,051,200 minutes. That’s a long time for anyone. It’s a lifetime for someone lost and lonely…or, in Joseph’s case: framed and forgotten.

When you’ve been marginalized by life, every day begins with prospect and nearly always ends with disappointment. You pray today will be the day the phone rings with good news. Your heart skips when you get an e-mail that’s not spam or scam, hoping this one holds a promising future. You feel delight when the postman delivers, only to sink in disappointment when his daily bread is only another moldy magazine, stale junk mail or a crusty rejection letter.

It doesn’t take a prison cell to barricade your life either. The walking “waiting” pass us every single day. People imprisoned by circumstances or bound by consequence. People waiting for God to act. Hoping He still hears. Wondering if He still cares. Wondering if anyone still cares.

I know we like to think Joseph faced every day of his waiting with honor and a positive spirit, but that’s an assumption. We really don’t know how Joseph worked through his issues. He didn’t belong in prison. We already know he begged to be remembered by the cupbearer. Maybe Joseph (nicely) told his story to everyone who’d listen and commiserate. “I don’t belong here.” “I was framed.” “I didn’t do anything wrong.” “I don’t understand.” “It’s not fair.” “I just want to go home and see my family.” Maybe Joseph privately and angrily scratched messages to Potiphar to salve his anger. Maybe he buried his head in a pillow and cried himself to sleep every night. Maybe he even considered suicide.

Think about it. What would you do if you were wrongly sentenced to a dank and dark cell? Sure, you were respected enough that they trusted the whole prison to you. You’re a model prisoner. You’re a good guy. You’re not like the other thugs in this place. Which is even worse, because nobody suspects your pain. They see your smile and figure you’re doing fine. They catch your optimism but don’t have a clue you’re dying inside. Afraid. Anxious. Angry. Emotionally exhausted and spiritually spent.

Anybody can play nice for a week, a month or even a year. Anybody can be patient for the moment. But what happens when it becomes a long haul? When the bills mount? When the job leads fail? When the cancer worsens? When she finds another man? When he moves to another city? When friends stop calling? When even your confidants question your integrity, competence and future?

We know Joseph’s story ends well, but don’t skip over those three words that molded his character: two full years. No insight. No detail. No explanation. Two more years in a prison cell. Two more years where Joseph fought his demons, found himself and forged whatever acceptance he could muster for the mystery.

It's a weight to wait. Yet in the silence we hear God and maybe that's its real Purpose.


NOTABLE QUOTABLES:

“How much of human life is lost in waiting.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

“We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” (Joseph Campbell)

“Never tell a young person that anything cannot be done. God may have been waiting centuries for someone ignorant enough of the impossible to do that very thing.” (G.M. Trevelyan)

“None of us knows what the next change is going to be, what unexpected opportunity is just around the corner, waiting a few months or a few years to change all the tenor of our lives.” (Kathleen Norris)

Father, while we Wait for You, give us strength to fight, fend and forge ahead. Give us Wisdom to understand, reconcile, interpret and discern the best from the good. Give us Peace in the valley and provide persistence to keep walking. Jesus, we thank You for guiding our paths and remaining by ourselves as we wait out the weight. Amen.